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What Your Employees Aren’t Telling You – And How to Find Out

As a leader, there’s almost always something your employees aren’t telling you. Maybe it’s what they need to feel supported or valued at work. But how are we supposed to lead well when we don’t know what they need? In this post, we’re going to unpack why employees might not feel comfortable sharing and what you can do to build a culture where they feel safe to express themselves.

Why Aren’t They Telling You?

1. Fear of Seeming Needy
   Employees may hesitate to express their needs because they don’t want to appear demanding or weak. They fear that having a need requires too much from their manager and may worry about being seen as a burden.

2. Uncertainty About Their Own Needs
   Many people, especially leaders, get so caught up in meeting others’ needs that they lose sight of their own. Employees may not always know what they need to feel valued or motivated, and this lack of clarity prevents them from expressing it.

3. Negative Past Experiences
   If employees have shared their needs in the past and were met with silence or rejection, they’ll be much less likely to do so again. They may have learned that expressing their needs is not worth the risk, leading to disengagement.

Does any of this resonate with you? Have you ever been hesitant to share your needs with someone for fear of being judged or dismissed?

What Do Employees Really Need?

Needs vary from person to person. While some may crave verbal validation and appreciation, others might need autonomy or clarity. Here are a few examples:

• Consideration: Being invited into conversations and having their opinions sought.
• Freedom: Having the space to work creatively without micromanagement.
• Trust: Feeling that their instincts and judgments are trusted by their leaders.
• Clarity: Understanding exactly what’s expected of them and having clear deadlines.

While appreciation is important, it’s not always the top priority. For some, simply knowing they’re trusted to do their job well without constant oversight can be the ultimate form of validation.

How to Create a Culture Where Employees Share Their Needs

If your employees aren’t telling you what they need, here’s how you can change that.

1. Create a Psychologically Safe Environment
   Psychological safety is essential for employees to feel comfortable sharing their needs. This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s built through small, consistent actions. Start by encouraging open dialogue, actively listening, and ensuring that all feedback—whether it’s a new idea or a critique—is met with curiosity, not judgment.

2. Ask the Right Questions
   Instead of asking “What do you need?” (which can feel overwhelming and vague), try more specific, open-ended questions like:

   • What would make your work easier right now?
   • What is slowing you down or frustrating you?
   • If you could have more resources, what would they be?

These types of questions give your employees the opportunity to share, while guiding their thoughts in a more focused way.

3. Listen Actively and with Curiosity
   It’s not just about asking questions—it’s about genuinely wanting to hear the answers. Active listening means being distraction-free, maintaining eye contact, and showing engagement through nodding and repeating key points back. Demonstrate that you’re not just hearing but understanding.

4. Prove It
   Actions speak louder than words. If your employees share their needs, follow through and take action. Even small gestures—like checking in after a conversation—can make a huge difference in showing that you care. Proving you’ve listened and acted builds trust and shows your team you’re committed to their well-being.

Making It a Habit

Don’t wait until employees are overwhelmed before you ask what they need. Build the habit of regularly checking in. Incorporate these questions into your one-on-one meetings or staff meetings, and hold yourself accountable for doing so.

A Final Thought

Encourage vulnerability and bravery by thanking employees when they share their needs. Celebrate their openness, and lead by example by being willing to share your own needs. While your team isn’t responsible for meeting your needs in the same way, showing vulnerability as a leader helps build a culture of safety and trust.

If you want to boost connection in your team, consider starting small. I’ve put together a free guide that will help you build connection in your staff meetings—just the first 10 minutes can make a huge difference. You can grab it here to get started today!

By building a culture where employees feel safe to express their needs, you’ll be able to serve them better, and in turn, cultivate a more connected, thriving workplace.