Why Sugarcoating Critique Hurts More Than It Helps

Have you ever tried to make something unpleasant more palatable by sugarcoating it? Maybe you were forced to eat something unpleasant or take medicine that tasted awful, so you masked it with something sweet. I can relate! There was a season when I had to take a bunch of supplements, and a friend suggested that I dump them into a smoothie rather than swallowing the pills. Big mistake—it was straight-up disgusting, far worse than just taking the pills individually. Sometimes we’re better off just tackling the issue head-on instead of trying to soften it, and the same is true for giving critique. Sugarcoating criticism, much like that disgusting smoothie, only makes things worse.

Let’s dive into why this approach can be harmful, and more importantly, how to provide critique that’s helpful, kind, and effective.

The Truth About Sugarcoating Critique

Giving feedback is hard. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to make it less so by cushioning the blow. But when we sugarcoat critique, we aren't doing anyone a favor. Imagine you’re standing outside a car in a tight parking garage, helping a friend back into a tricky spot. Would it be helpful to say, “Good job! You’re such a great driver!” if they were about to hit the wall? Of course not. What they need in that moment is clear, direct guidance to avoid a collision.

Critique works the same way. It’s not helpful—or kind—to be vague or overly positive about something that needs correction. Instead, we need to provide specific, actionable feedback. Just like you would direct your friend in that parking garage with clear instructions—“Turn the wheel a little left”—your team members need clarity in their feedback to improve their work.

Critique as Humble Helpfulness

Many leaders struggle with critique because they fear they will come off as harsh or discouraging. But here’s the mindset shift that changes everything: critique, when done right, is humble helpfulness. Emphasis on the word “humble” because it’s crucial to approach every conversation with the understanding that we might not have all the facts. Critique isn't about passing judgment; it’s about offering guidance and opening the door for a conversation that could improve outcomes.

When we approach feedback with humility and a genuine desire to help, it takes away the sting and guilt that often accompanies delivering critique. It becomes an opportunity to assist the person in doing their best work.

Why the Critique Sandwich Doesn’t Work

Most of us have been taught the "feedback sandwich" method at some point: start with something positive, slip in the critique, and then wrap it up with more positivity. The intention behind this approach is understandable, but it often comes across as insincere. That “nice” wrapper around the critique often feels forced and disconnected from the actual feedback. In reality, people can sense when we’re uncomfortable or trying too hard to soften the blow, and that creates a sense of manipulation rather than trust.

So let’s toss that critique sandwich out the window. It’s time to approach feedback differently—by being clear, direct, and sincere.

The Balance of Critique and Praise

Critique doesn’t have to be a negative thing, but it works best when it’s balanced with regular, sincere praise. Last week, we talked about the importance of giving specific praise instead of saying “good job.” Just like praise, critique should also be clear and specific. And both should be given regularly. If your team only hears from you when something goes wrong, they will naturally dread feedback. On the other hand, if they are used to hearing praise more often than critique, feedback becomes part of the rhythm of their work experience.

One of the best ways to do this is to give feedback immediately. Whether it’s praise or critique, address it as soon as possible. Waiting too long makes the issue either grow larger in our minds or become forgotten and dismissed as unimportant. Quick feedback keeps the conversation relevant and constructive, reducing the emotional buildup that can make critique harder to deliver.

How to Give Critique the Right Way

Here’s the framework I recommend for giving helpful, direct critique that doesn’t crush your people or create unnecessary conflict:

1. Start with Genuine Gratitude: This isn't just a pleasantry. Express real appreciation for the person's effort or their time. For example, “Thank you for leading that presentation yesterday.” This sets a respectful tone and shows that you value the person, not just the task.

2. Give a Clear Observation: Focus on what you saw or experienced, without attaching judgment. Use specific examples like, “During your presentation, I noticed that there were several errors in your slides and it seemed like you didn’t have enough notes to guide you.”

3. Describe the Impact: Share the effect that this observation had on the work or the team. For example, “It made it hard for us to follow along and understand the main points.” By focusing on the impact, you keep the conversation about the work, not the person’s character.

4. Invite a Response: After sharing the observation and its impact, give the other person space to respond. This is a conversation, not a one-sided critique. Their response might provide important context or give them a chance to reflect and improve.

By following these steps, you avoid the pitfalls of vague feedback or manipulative praise. Instead, you engage in a clear, sincere conversation that helps the person grow and fosters a culture of trust and improvement.

The Power of Honest Feedback

As leaders, it’s essential that we give feedback regularly, both in the form of praise and critique. By doing so with clarity and humility, we create an environment where people feel supported in their growth rather than undermined by sugarcoated criticism. Remember, critique is a tool for improvement, and when given with the right mindset and approach, it can drive real, lasting progress for your team.

So let’s ditch the sugarcoating and embrace clear, honest feedback—because that’s what really helps people succeed.