I could talk to my son all day long about how to ride a bike. We could look at pictures, watch videos, or draw diagrams. But no matter how much I teach him, there’s only one way for him to learn how to ride: by getting on the bike himself. And that process will involve struggle. Confidence in riding won’t come quickly—it has to be earned through experience.

This lesson about riding a bike mirrors my journey as a new leader. When I was thrown into a leadership role in my twenties, I was full of excitement, motivation, and skills in certain areas. But like riding a bike, no amount of preparation could have prepared me for the real learning that came through experience. Leadership is a journey that involves falling, getting back up, and learning to ride again, but this time with more wisdom. Today, I want to share four things I wish I had known when I first stepped into management, hoping to help you avoid some of the pitfalls I faced.

1. Leadership Isn’t About Starting from Scratch—It’s About Building on What’s Already Working

When I first became a manager, I had a vision of what I wanted to build and where I wanted to take my team. I thought I was starting on a blank slate. What I didn’t realize was that I was stepping onto a moving train—an established system with its own history, processes, and successes. I thought I could dictate the direction and speed, but that mindset was a mistake.

What I needed to do was understand what was already working. Before I could make changes, I had to take the time to learn about the team’s past successes and build from there. Ignoring the past is like derailing a moving train—it’s disastrous. Instead, take the time to be curious. Ask questions, listen to your team, and understand the foundation that’s been built. Once you know what’s kept things moving, you can guide the team forward with intention.

2. Asking for Opinions Doesn’t Mean You Have to Accept Every Idea

I used to be afraid of soliciting feedback because I worried that if I didn’t implement someone’s idea, they would feel unheard and undervalued. But I learned that asking for input doesn’t mean you’re obligated to use it. Most employees don’t want to make the final decisions—they trust you as a leader to do that.

Opening the floor for opinions is essential, but as the leader, you still hold the responsibility for making the final call. It’s important to listen, gather ideas, and show you value your team’s perspectives. But remember: it’s okay to filter through those ideas and make the best decision for the organization.

3. Relationships Lead to Results

As a new manager, I was eager to prove myself by driving results. I focused on data, metrics, and performance—but I quickly realized I had missed a crucial step: building relationships. The foundation of any successful team is trust and connection, and you can’t fast-track that.

Taking time to genuinely care about your team members, establishing regular check-ins, and creating a safe space for open communication are key to building trust. When relationships are strong, results naturally follow. The magic of a high-performing team happens when people feel valued, supported, and connected. Prioritize relationships, and you’ll see the data you’re chasing fall into place.

4. There’s No Easy Way to Have Hard Conversations

If there’s one truth about leadership, it’s this: hard conversations are inevitable, and they’re always going to be hard. No amount of preparation or avoidance will make them easier. But the more you delay them, the more harm you cause.

Embrace the discomfort, be honest, and have the tough conversations early and directly. Your team will respect you for your transparency, and over time, you’ll become more comfortable navigating these situations. Remember, avoiding hard conversations only leads to bigger problems down the road.

In my leadership journey, I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But I’ve also learned valuable lessons along the way. I hope these four insights help you as you navigate your own path as a leader. If you’re looking for practical ways to build connection in your team, download my Ultimate Meeting Kickoff Guide for a simple yet powerful strategy to foster connection in just 10 minutes a week.

You can grab it here. Remember, creating a thriving workplace culture takes intentional effort, and connection is the key to making it happen.