Let’s be honest—dealing with difficult employees is one of the most challenging parts of leadership. Negative attitudes, poor performance, and disruptive behavior can sneak into our workplaces, not because we think it’s acceptable, but because we’re unsure how to handle it. If you’re wrestling with this, take a deep breath—you’re in the right place.

Today, I’m sharing practical tips and steps to help you address these issues with clarity and confidence.

Step 1: Define Acceptable Behavior and Performance

Here’s the thing: you can’t hold someone accountable to a standard you’ve never communicated. Clear expectations are the foundation of healthy workplace behavior and performance.

When it comes to behavior, your organization likely has a set of values—those three to five guiding principles that shape how your team interacts. If not, this is the time to define them. When your values are clear, you can align your team around them and create a shared understanding of what great teamwork looks like.

For performance, set measurable standards like key performance indicators (KPIs). For example, instead of hoping employees reply to customer emails promptly, establish a concrete expectation like responding within one business day. Without these benchmarks, you’re leaving people to guess what “good” looks like.

Step 2: Separate the Behavior from the Person

It’s easy to label someone as “rude” or “lazy” when their behavior frustrates us. But here’s the hard truth: labeling doesn’t help.

Instead of defining a person by their actions, separate the behavior from the individual. For instance, if someone sighs loudly and crosses their arms in a meeting, avoid jumping to, “You’re being disrespectful.” Instead, recognize they’re demonstrating a specific behavior, and address that.

Shifting your mindset from judgment to curiosity helps you approach the conversation as a partner rather than an adversary. This way, you’re not battling the person but working with them to improve.

Step 3: Address the Issue with Facts, Not Opinions

Once you’ve defined your expectations and adjusted your mindset, it’s time to have the hard conversation. And yes, it’s still going to feel uncomfortable, but you can do it with care and integrity.

The best way to frame these conversations is by using the SBI method: Situation, Behavior, Impact. Here’s how it works:

1. Situation: Start by grounding the conversation in a specific moment. For example, “In the team meeting yesterday…”
2. Behavior: Describe exactly what you observed. “You threw your arms up, dropped your pencil, and sighed loudly.”
3. Impact: Explain how that behavior affected the team. “It disrupted the discussion and made others feel uncomfortable.”

This approach ensures you’re sticking to the facts and avoiding character accusations. Then, give them space to respond. They may be defensive or try to shift blame, and that’s okay. Your goal is simply to make them aware of the behavior and its impact.

Coaching for Change

Here’s where the real transformation happens. Instead of telling someone what to fix and how to fix it, hold up a mirror to their behavior. By helping them see the impact of their actions, you’re guiding them toward self-awareness and self-discovery.

This method is far more effective than doling out solutions. It fosters accountability, trust, and growth—essential ingredients for turning a difficult situation into an opportunity for connection and change.

Managing difficult employees isn’t easy, but with clear expectations, a mindset of curiosity, and fact-based conversations, you can handle these situations with confidence and care. Remember, you’re not just addressing behaviors—you’re shaping a culture where every person has the opportunity to thrive.