Transform Your 1:1 Meetings with These 7 Questions!

Are you tired of your weekly 1:1 meetings dragging on, feeling unproductive, and leaving you wondering why you even bother? What if I told you that those same meetings are actually a goldmine of opportunity—and you’ve been missing out?

Today, I’m sharing a game-changing framework that will completely transform your 1:1s from a draining obligation into your most powerful leadership tool. So powerful, in fact, that you’ll never want to cancel one again. Let’s dive in!

What Do Your 1:1s Look Like Now?

If your 1:1s are anything like mine used to be, they probably involve:

• A list of updates or status reports
• A rundown of everything your team member is working on
• A meeting where you do most of the talking

Sound familiar? Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Many leaders fall into the trap of making 1:1s a simple “check-in.”

But here’s the thing: 1:1s shouldn’t just be status reports. They should be employee-driven coaching conversations that give your team members space to share what’s on their mind, reflect on their work, and grow.

Why Coaching Is the Key to Better 1:1s

In many workplaces, employees are either afraid to make mistakes or so used to being told what to do that they don’t even try to think for themselves anymore. That’s where coaching comes in.

Coaching isn’t about solving every problem yourself—it’s about empowering your team to become better problem-solvers. It’s about guiding them to think critically, act confidently, and make their own decisions. And isn’t that exactly what we want for the people we lead?

Here’s the good news: coaching doesn’t have to be complicated. At its core, it’s about one simple concept: Asking, not telling.

Who Sets the Agenda?

First things first—who currently sets the agenda for your 1:1s? If it’s you, it’s time to pass the baton.

Your team member should own the agenda. To make the shift, start your next 1:1 with this simple question:
“What’s most important for you to discuss today?”

This change makes the meeting about them—not just their tasks or updates—and opens the door to more meaningful conversations.

The 7 Empowering Questions to Transform Your 1:1s

To guide these conversations, here are seven questions from Michael Bungay Stanier’s book The Coaching Habit. These questions are simple, powerful, and will completely change the way you approach 1:1s.

1. What’s on Your Mind?
   This question creates space for your team member to share what’s pressing—whether it’s a challenge, a win, or an idea. If they need a prompt, consider the 3Ps:

   • Projects: Challenges with tasks or goals
   • People: Issues with colleagues or clients
   • Patterns: Ways they might be holding themselves back

2. And What Else?
   The first answer is rarely the whole story. Asking “And what else?” encourages deeper thinking and often uncovers solutions they hadn’t considered yet. Don’t be afraid to ask this question multiple times until they say, “That’s all.”

3. What’s the Real Challenge Here for You?
   This question gets to the heart of the issue. Using “for you” shifts the focus inward, helping them identify their personal challenge rather than external factors.

4. What Do You Want?
   People often avoid stating what they truly want. Asking this question brings clarity to their goals and helps define next steps. If needed, ask again: “But what do you really want?”

5. How Can I Help?
   Instead of guessing, ask directly. This question invites a clear request and prevents miscommunication. You always have options: say yes, offer a counter-solution, or ask for time to decide.

6. If You’re Saying Yes to This, What Are You Saying No To?
   Every “yes” comes with a “no.” This question forces prioritization and commitment, helping your team member make intentional decisions.

7. What Was Most Useful for You?
   End every meeting with this question. It reinforces learning, creates a positive takeaway, and helps you refine future conversations.

When Do I Give Feedback?

If 1:1s are for coaching and employee-driven discussions, you might be wondering when to provide feedback or address issues. Here’s the truth: feedback is most impactful when it’s regular and immediate. Don’t save it for your 1:1s. Instead, schedule quick conversations outside of these meetings to address performance or conflict.

By keeping feedback separate, you preserve the coaching space in your 1:1s while ensuring timely and effective feedback.

If you’re dealing with conflict on your team, I have a free guide to help you resolve it in 4 drama-free steps. You can grab it at heykaralist.com/conflict.

Your Challenge This Week

At your next 1:1, start with the first question:
“What’s on your mind?”

Then, use at least two other empowering questions from this list to guide the conversation. Notice how it shifts the dynamic and deepens the discussion.

There you have it, friends—7 simple yet powerful questions that will transform your 1:1s into valuable, empowering conversations. Imagine what your team could accomplish in just a few months if these were the kinds of conversations you were having every week.